Terms & Conditions

Welcome to The Middle Club

By accessing or using our website, you agree to be bound by the following terms and conditions. Think of it as agreeing to the club rules—no skipping the queue and no pocketing the silverware.

1. Club Etiquette (Acceptance of Terms) Upon entering The Middle Club website, you become an honorary member (at least digitally). By staying here, you accept these terms and agree to follow the club's proper protocols, including not abusing our contact forms or causing any digital ruckus.

2. Membership Dues (Payments & Services) Some of our services may require payment. Don’t worry; no bar tabs here—just straightforward fees for branding, design, or creative wizardry. Prices, availability, and payment details will always be disclosed in advance.

3. Entry Requirements (Eligibility) Our club is open to everyone, but you must be 18 years or older to use services that involve contracts, purchases, or sipping metaphorical whiskey. If you're under 18, you'll need to bring along a responsible adult (or pretend you're here for storytime).

4. Dress Code (Website Usage) We expect appropriate behaviour when interacting with the site. No spamming, hacking, or unsavoury behaviour. We’ve got Reggie on security detail, and he’s got a zero-tolerance policy for troublemakers.

5. Reservations (Intellectual Property) All content on this site—text, designs, images, and whimsy—is owned by The Middle Club unless stated otherwise. Copying without permission is frowned upon. Want to borrow our ideas? Just ask! We might even send you a members-only monogrammed napkin.

6. Club Hours (Availability) Our website is usually open 24/7, barring any mischief from technology gremlins. If you find the site down, rest assured we're hard at work (or sipping tea while Dotty fixes things).

7. Lost & Found (Liability) We do our best to keep things running smoothly, but if something goes awry—such as a page going missing or a typo escaping our editor's gaze—we can’t promise compensation beyond a hearty "Oops!"

8. Expulsion (Termination of Access) If you breach these terms, we reserve the right to revoke your membership (i.e., block your access). Don’t make us call Bea Clover, our Head of Whimsy Enforcement.

9. Amendments to Club Rules (Changes to Terms) We may update these terms occasionally to keep things fresh. Keep checking back—you never know when we might add a secret handshake.

10. Final Toast (Governing Law) These terms are governed by the laws of the United Kingdom. Any disputes will be handled in the courts of England & Wales... though we'd prefer to settle things over a game of lawn croquet.